You must forgive.
Have you ever noticed how difficult people can be? I mean, seriously, I hope most people are sincerely trying to do their best most of the time, but people are difficult. If you ever worked in retail or dealt with parents in a school or worked at the DMV – it’s tough out there.
Imagine the tangled mess God is trying to sort out, and in a way that doesn’t just work out the kinks and knots but keeps us from ever getting tangled again.
A key element of God’s work is forgiveness. Sin clings to us and has weight, weight that drags on the heart, that tugs at the soul and that robs us of peace. That’s why confession is good for the soul, in an immediate and an eternal sense. As the Rite 1 confession says of our sins, “the burden of them is intolerable.” The discipline of laying our sins before God and specifically asking his forgiveness relieves us of this weight, whether in our personal prayer time or as we pray together, things done and things left undone.
We share a general confession before communion because God’s forgiveness of our sin is central to our faith. We come to God saying, “Lord, whatever it is, we’re coming before you with heartfelt repentance to ask your forgiveness.” If there’s anything that’s separating us from God, we want it swept away before we approach his Holy Table. God promised forgiveness and we need it. We want to be absolved of our role and part in it no matter what. We want nothing between us and God. We may rightly see that as the ultimate goal of loving God. It helps us today, and it prepares us for eternity.
As much as we need forgiveness, the harder part of God’s bargain is often that we must also be willing to forgive others.
Peter wants to know how many times we’re supposed to put up with someone else’s sin against us. Peter says, 7 times, which is a metaphor asking if he must be perfect in his forgiveness. But Jesus says no, 77 times or seventy times seven, which is to say, “Infinitely beyond perfect.”
This speaks to the depth of the challenge forgiveness presents and what God is trying to accomplish in us and through us.
As hard and as important as it is, the intellectual decision to forgive is just the start. That is the part with which we have some hope of exercising our will, a necessary conscious effort.
But we are much more complicated than just that. Our deeper modes of being, our hearts and souls, can sneak up on us. You can forgive someone and really mean it, but then out of the blue and at some odd time like 3am in the morning the emotion of it rises from the depths like a monster and you wake up reliving the pain of it all. If that happens, you feel helpless. You can’t control that. You weren’t even awake! That is where we seek God’s grace to bind and heal the deeper wound.
And we must be willing and able to truly and fully forgive others for their sake. That’s why the Church has been praying today’s collect for at least 1300 years. We’ve got to remember the larger project is our participation in God’s work of redemption. “O God, because without you we are not able to please you…”
To drive the point home Jesus shares this parable. To get an idea of how much this slave owes, it would be like an everyday lunch pail sort of person owing hundreds of millions – maybe billions. I saw one post that said $4.5 billion.
This guy can’t possibly repay this debt, not in 100 lifetimes, and everything he has including his family is going on the auction block.
He’s in debt way beyond hope. The master’s forgiveness then is extravagant on the same scale. It’s not the money. He’s given him his life back. His wife. His children. Everything dear to him was about to be gone and now he has hope again.
This is like the gift God gives us in forgiveness of our sins. We all sin, we all incur a debt with God beyond our means to repay. We all need confession, repentance and forgiveness.
And so when we see the very same guy literally choking his fellow slave over 100 day’s wages – a lot but certainly doable over time – then having him thrown into prison, the contrast is obvious. How could he do such a thing? It’s terrible! And his consequences are severe. He hasn’t grasped the grace of what he has received and doesn’t share it.
The lesson is clear. God expects us to treat other people the way he treats us. This last verse is among the most challenging things Jesus ever said. “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (Matthew 18:35)
That isn’t so easy, is it? But it is necessary for our sake and for our role in sharing the Kingdom.
In part, it is for our own good. Carrying a grudge or a hurt is like having a thorn or a splinter deep inside. It will have its physical effects, lurking deep within us it causes stress which is deadly. It’s like the splinter getting infected. Nasty.
The larger issue is the invitation God gives us to participate in his economy of grace. Yes, He’s working on you to perfect you for his kingdom. What is the agency of his work? Love. God is love. Love is where he’s leading us. Love is how he shapes us. He doesn’t indulge us. Our repentance must be sincere.
And so must our forgiveness of others. We are doing for them as we would have done to us. We are agents of God’s grace, sharing what he has done for us with others, giving them a tangible example of God’s love. Forgiveness requires will and prayer. It may require some counseling. It is nonnegotiable, so we have to work at it.
This doesn’t mean anyone should remain in an abusive or dangerous circumstance. If you or someone you know is suffering that way, then by all means see to your or their safety first.
Henry Patrick Ingley is to be baptized today. There are a few things about Henry of which I am confident. First, where the Apostle Paul said, “So then, each of us will be accountable to God,” Henry will understand that. He is the son of Rusty and grandson of Roger and great grandson of H.A. Ingley. Accounting is in his blood. It may be hard to imagine now, but Henry will sin. Henry is also going to need forgiveness. This rite of baptism proclaims God’s hand upon him.
Henry will also need to learn to forgive. God is going to use Henry as an example, as a witness, to build His kingdom. His parents, sisters, extended family and Godparents will help him learn this. And we will too.
AMEN