Listen and Love
Advent 4
Fr. Tim Nunez
May my spoken word be true to God’s written word and bring us all closer to the living word, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
It’s 3AM. The phone rings. It’s the red phone, the crisis phone. No, wait, it’s the Bat phone. You pick up the phone, but it’s not a phone at all. They are bells – church bells – and you’re late. And your shirt is twisted or something. You cannot get your arm through the sleeve and everyone is waiting.
Only you’re not late, you’re asleep. You’re dreaming, just dreaming. You wake up with a mix of your chest pounding and relief. Then you laugh inside. The anxiety of your dream was just your brain sorting out a mix of experiences and emotions. Maybe you check to make sure your alarm is set, but you don’t get up to make sure your shirts aren’t twisted.
I hope you identified with my nightmare because you have had a similar experience. Let’s keep that in mind as we remember Joseph’s vital role with Jesus coming into the world.
Joseph is more than engaged. Under Jewish customs at that time, marriage was a two-stage process. A man would make a formal proposal to a woman, either written or in front of two witnesses. If the proposal was accepted by her family, they entered a written, legally binding contract. It included a payment to the bride’s family to compensate for losing their daughter’s help and for the groom to demonstrate his commitment. The only way either could get out of the marriage was through a formal divorce decree.
They would typically wait up to a full year before the actual wedding. During that time, the bride is known as his wife. If the groom were to die, the bride would have full rights to inherit his estate.
Joseph learns Mary is pregnant. This isn’t like breaking off a wedding, it is more like divorce. She was also subject to the laws concerning adultery, which carries harsh penalties. The maximum is that she could be stoned to death.
Joseph, in the loneliness of his thoughts, has to cope with an awful situation. Matthew shares a key point about Joseph. He is a righteous man. Righteous means he is “right with God;” that his thinking and behavior are aligned with God. What flows from his righteous mind is judgment, he does decide to divorce her. But there is also mercy. He plans to dismiss her quietly, which will minimize her difficulties as much as possible.
This crisis weighs on Joseph in the still of the night. It would be quite natural for him to have a wild dream as his mind sorts through all its implications and his own feelings. It’s a mess. But his dreams are invaded. An angel, a messenger of the Lord, comes to him with such clarity of vision and truth that he does not doubt it.
We don’t know a great deal about Joseph. This scene and the flight to Egypt later in this chapter are his only substantive scenes in the Bible. Luke’s account of Jesus’s birth is on Mary. Otherwise, he is referenced in a few places as Jesus’s adoptive father.
This is a moment we could very easily glide past, our eyes, hearts and minds eager to embrace the Christ child. The big lesson here is the amazing news that Jesus is God’s son, that he is coming to save us from our sins and to fulfill God’s promise that he would be with us in a profoundly new way.
But can we pause a moment and be with this good man in his moment of distress? Joseph is a good man, a righteous man. That may mean that he is a faithful observer of the law. It may also mean that he loves his bride, that he had hopes and expectations building for this marriage. A carpenter has come to a point in his career that he can afford to marry and provide for a family, his family.
Suddenly it all looks to be lost. The faithful man, the righteous man, considers the right thing to do. But his heart must be torn. His mercy toward Mary in dismissing her shows no hint of revenge, but rather a distinct hint of sorrow.
Lou Holtz, the former football coach and TV analyst once said, “People need love most when they deserve it the least.” That’s worth repeating. In that moment of mercy, Joseph, being right with God, showed a bit of God’s character. What Joseph planned to do for Mary points toward what God will do for his people.
As Paul wrote to the church in Rome, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly,” then “God shows his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Joseph’s heart was a little like God’s heart.
In his sorrow, in his distress, the Lord comes and gives Joseph a good word. That word is unexpected both in the manner of delivery and in the message. It echoes the angelic herald sent to Mary. It echoes the call of the prophets from long ago. It changes everything.
I have referred to Joseph as Jesus’ adoptive father, but what do we call a man who is not the biological father but claims the child as his own from birth? I think we call him daddy.
“When Joseph awoke, he did as the angel commanded him.” Joseph also gives us a fine example of remaining faithful, obedient to God, especially in a crisis; listening for and following the Lord’s will. Pray that God might speak so clearly to us, in our own crises and our daily living. Pray that we might have the faith to respond to difficult circumstances with mercy and grace, like Joseph, showing a hint of God’s love.
It’s 3AM. The phone is ringing. Only it isn’t the phone, it is your mind racing through the problems you face, your stresses and strains.
Incarnation. The Word becomes flesh in you.
Listen for the Lord. Do as he leads you.
AMEN!