Forgiven, forgive

Proper 19

Fr. Tim Nunez

May my spoken word be true to God’s written word and bring us all closer to the living word, Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen

This morning’s gospel is at once extremely helpful and extremely demanding. Peter asks how many times he must forgive, “a member of the Church.” Jesus answers, “not seven times, but seventy times seven.” That doesn’t mean 490 times. It is an old Biblical metaphor used in Genesis to describe unlimited vengeance. Jesus uses it to emphasize unlimited forgiveness. This standard is absolute. And, like everything else Jesus says and does, this has everything to do with the Kingdom of God.

Then Jesus describes forgiveness with this parable. The slave has racked up an impossible debt, roughly 160,000 years’ worth of wages. (That’s a long time; 160,000 years ago, humans were using stone tools and fire, and when they had neanderthals in the neighborhood it wasn’t a metaphor.)

This debt put him, his wife and his children at risk. If you don’t think sin can cost that much, ask a prisoner. Ask an addict. But, he repents, begging on his knees that he cannot pay and asking for forgiveness.  Out of pity, his lord releases him from that debt.

Then the slave comes across one of his fellow slaves who owes him 100 denarii, which amounts to 100 days’ wages. That is significant, but not impossible. The second slave falls down to his knees and begs for patience and promises that he will pay, but nevertheless the first slave throws him into prison until he pays the debt.

Their lord finds out and hands the first slave over to be tortured until he pays off the impossible debt. Jesus, our sweet loving Jesus, closes the parable with the sternest of warnings, “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive from your heart.” Those are some of the most alarming words in the entire Bible, and they underscore how vital forgiveness is.

Remember: this parable is about the Kingdom of God. None of us can get in on our own merit. All of us have that impossible debt from our sin that runs to the very depths of our hearts, which Jesus gave his life to pay. That is our gift. Receiving it is at the very heart of loving God and being loved by him. Once we take that plunge into his grace, we become citizens of the Kingdom – incomplete but moving toward completion, together.

Forgiveness is at the very heart of the Kingdom. It is an extension of loving God, the chief way that he works in and through us to build his Kingdom. When we cannot forgive, we’re like broken tools. Worse, the sin’s damage multiplies. It’s like watching a thorn in our flesh fester to prove how nasty the thorn is.

Un-forgiveness is its own kind of torture, unless and until we begin to let God release us from it. Let’s be very clear. Forgiveness does not release the other person from their responsibility before God for their actions. God is their judge. We are to trust him. It does not mean we are supposed to enable abusers. Forgiveness often leads to reconciliation, but boundaries have to be drawn sometimes, for everyone’s sake.

Forgiveness is about our relationship with God and how our relationship with him manifests in us and between us, as Jesus says, “from the heart.” It is necessary, as we are reminded every time we pray the Lord’s Prayer. “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Jesus himself gave us those words.

All of that is extremely difficult, even impossible, except for the grace of God, the love of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. So, what are we to do? How do we truly forgive, especially when our pain runs so deeply and we feel like we are well past 490 times?

C.S. Lewis suggested a couple of helpful ideas in Mere Christianity. First, forgiveness begins not with a feeling, but with a decision, a choice. We begin by willing the person's good before God, refusing vengeance, surrendering the desire to make the other person suffer, and repeatedly placing the injury and judgment in God's hands.

Lewis says to think of it as a project, like math. We don’t start with calculus or differential equations, and most of us never reach those levels. We start with simple addition and subtraction, then we move to multiplication and division, fractions, geometry. So, start small, with the more minor irritations, and build from there. Remain in prayer to Christ himself and study his Word on the subject. When you get stuck, get help from your clergy and others you trust as spiritually mature.

A chief lie of the enemy is that you cannot do this, that the thorn is too deep, it will never come out and you will never heal. Trust that Jesus will ultimately heal this, too. He will bridge the chasm. He has already paid what you owe, so just stay with him.

Second, Lewis suggests that in trying to perfect loving neighbor as self, we take an honest look at ourselves. Lewis wasn’t exactly fond of himself. He didn’t think of himself as a “nice man,” but he knew, knew, he was, “a very nasty one.” He looked on some of his own actions with loathing and horror. But he also loved himself. That helped him recognize the same is true for others, and that helped him learn to hate the sin while loving the sinner.

God doesn’t want us to gloss over and make nice about sin, he wants us to be done with it altogether. He wants to rescue us from it and use us to reach others. Our anger, frustrations, resentments, wounds and pains cause grief and suffering that is very real and destructive to ourselves and others. Those evils cannot win. Forgiveness is at the heart of our relationship with the Lord and our relationships with each other, bringing life, health, peace and joy. We all have work to do and we all rely on his grace to heal and grow. Give it all to him.

Let us pray.

AMEN!