One Saturday morning I woke up around 6 am. I wish I could sleep late, but I can’t usually.  Being in no rush, I was just lying there praying on names as they came to mind.

That’s really a nice thing to do.  It’s quiet, I’m comfortable, I’m rested, and no one else is awake yet.  It’s just me and the Lord, all kind of cozy and snuggly, Meg softly breathing in her sleep rhythm.  And that’s nice too.

So I’m lying there, all nice and peaceful, when Meg says in a fairly loud voice, “You’d better WATCH your attitude!”

I froze, but all I could hear was, again, her breathing in that soft rhythm.  To be perfectly honest, once I realized she wasn’t actually speaking to me, it was all I could do to keep from bursting into laughter.

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I gather that Meg and I are not the only couple who have had – at times – some measure of tension and comments as it regards each other’s driving. Most I trust come to some measure of peace, but I found a cure that worked for us.

Last fall Meg and I took a trip that was right at the top of our bucket list. We spent two weeks touring England in a rental car. I had geared myself up for it.  I got all manner of advice on it from many people. I read up on it. I watched videos on driving on the left side of the road and handling the roundabouts.

The reality was something else. The left-hand side wasn’t that big a deal, but add to that the incessant roundabouts. The roads are narrower and rarely have shoulders. They are very curvy and hilly in most places. People grow their hedges and build their stone walls right up to the very edge of the road. And there is rarely anyplace to just turn around. Everything is new, so unfamiliar.

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When our kids were little, we would inevitably hit a phase where everything is a test of wills.  That could be the terrible twos, maybe later on.  We had this method of resolving that conflict which was extremely effective. 

Meg had three small jars.  She would draw a happy face on the first jar.  The second jar would get a sad face.  The third jar was simply full of beans. 

When the child would do something good, we put a bean in the happy jar.  When they did something wrong, or argued, or failed to do their normal routines, they would get a sad bean.  At the end of the day, if they had more good beans than bad beans, they got to put a sticker on the calendar for that day.  At the end of the week, if they had more good bean days than bad bean days, they got a treat.  If not, no treat.

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